My Dear Firstborn , You’ll Never Know

You’ll never know, dear daughter of mine, how you became my entire world, changed my entire world, and will always be my world . “Ugh, Mom, you never pay any attention to me!” my oldest child said in a huff the other day. Her dᴇʟɪᴄᴀᴛᴇ Fᴇᴀᴛᴜʀᴇs ᴄʀᴜᴍᴘʟᴇᴅ on her face as she crossed her arms and Fʀᴏᴡɴᴇᴅ at me.

I tried to not laugh out loud as I pulled her in close to me, remembering the months we spent together, alone—just her and me. The days I literally spent just holding her, the hours I spent reading with her, the naps we shared, the way she was my entire world and how she changed my entire world. You’ll never know the way a heart can beat outside the body, steadfast and strong, unwavering in its dedication to you. The truth is, my daughter, you’ll never know how I studied you, each and every freckle on your nose an imprint on my heart, your features so new and yet familiar at the same time.

You’ll never know the way I watched you sleep, echoes of “you should sleep when the baby sleeps!” filling my head, but I couldn’t look away, so in awe of the simple fact that you were here, that you once resided curled up inside of me. You’ll never know the laps I took, the ᴡᴇᴀʀɪɴᴇss sᴇᴛᴛʟɪɴɢ into my ʙᴏɴᴇs as I ʜᴜsʜᴇᴅ and ʙᴏᴜɴᴄᴇᴅ and ᴘʀᴀʏᴇᴅ, willing you to find ᴘᴇᴀᴄᴇ against the pain I didn’t know was in your belly. You’ll never know the decisions that seemed so big at the time: Bʀᴇᴀsᴛ Fᴇᴇᴅɪɴɢ or not? Lifelong ban on french fries or give in early? Organic strawberries or save the money? You’ll never know how my breath catches still when I catch a glimpse of you, how startling it is when you seem to grow up overnight, when you move with the grace of a woman but sleep like the baby I once held.


You’ll never know how I love watching you grow up, how I see everything you do for your siblings, how you bear the burden of being the oldest – and a girl at that – so very gracefully. You’ll never know that I still watch you when you sleep, that I will never stop brushing the stray hair our of your eyes so I can see your beautiful face. You’ll never know what rage a mother can feel when someone crosses her little girl, the way my stomach hurts for you when you get nervous, the way I feel what you feel. You’ll never know how my biggest Fᴇᴀʀ in life is losing you, is of you slipping away from me, slowly as you grow. You’ll never know how every step, every breath, every time I see you think of another, every story you tell, every movement you make, makes me marvel at the gift you are.

You’ll never know, dear daughter of mine, how you became my entire world, changed my entire world, and will always be my world. But I am here. even when you think I’m not. And that’s a promise.



Related Posts

“Heartwarming Image: 9-Year-Old Boy Assisting His Mother During Delivery Will Touch Your Soul”

Few thiпgs have the ability to moʋer as iп these testiпg times.  This photograph of a little 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥 sυpportiпg his origiпal mother is oпe of them.Last year,…

“Against All Odds: The 425-Gram Infant’s Triumph, Finding a Loving Family After 460 Days, Radiating Joyful Smiles of Happiness”

Baby Kendall, born in December 2020, weighed a mere 425 grams when she was delivered at 25 weeks of pregnancy by her mother. Kendall Jurnakins has now…

“Blessed Beyond Measure: Couple’s Dream of Parenthood Realized as They Welcome Five Sets of Twins After Overcoming Hormonal Infertility”

A couple’s long-awaited dream of having children comes true when Jordan and Briana Drixell welcome quintuplets after battling endocrine infertility. Despite initial disbelief, the couple embraced the…

“Defying the Odds: A Couple’s Unwavering Love and Courage to Embrace Parenthood Despite Challenges Sets the Stage for an Extraordinary Journey of Triumph”

In a small town in Tavares, Florida, the birth of Baby Jackson captivated the hearts of many and served as a testament to the remarkable power of…

“Devastating Narrative: The Baby’s Struggle with a Deformed Nose and the Overwhelming Pain”

In the bustling city of Delhi, Kundn and Sushil welcomed their first and only child, baby Shnti, into the world with immense joy and hope. However, as…

“Taking the Leap: Marrying Him Was a Risk, but I Embraced It – An Unbelievable Love Story (Video)”

These womeп rejected a wealthy maп aпd married a disabled mυd. Oh yeah, yoυ heard me right. She sacrificed everythiпg she had. Her family aпd frieпds treated…